Momentary Lapse of Reason

Darkness

somebodiessomebody — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:19:00 +0000

Almost a year since my last post and I add another. Knowing that no one reads this anymore I still keep hope alive.

Alone. That one word can mean so much in so many ways. For some alone means to be by ones self. To other it can mean to have no equal, to be alone in intelligence or love. Yet to a few it can mean both. I follow both. For two years I have been without others or the love of others, on the inside and out. Sure I have “friends” who claim their love for me, never having shown it. No one comes to me in their spare time or out of the blue. Never calling unless they need something. Always claiming they have to make time or promising to come. From those all I hear are excuses as to why they can’t make it. I always have time for others, whether it be an hour or a day. I make it so they can’t see my loneliness. I hide it deep inside where no one cares to look. It is much easier to hide in the day than in the night. The light keeps the thoughts at bay. The dark invites them out. To show our true colors is what the night is for. To deepen our situation or just to bring out the worst in people.

Keeping the past

somebodiessomebody — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 04:29:28 +0000

For some reason i still check this at least once or twice a week. Always hoping that for some reason somebody/anybody would care enough to look at a nobodies blog. I always look at hers just to see if anything has change always to be let down. As i sit here and watch “Across The Universe” i believe that as unpredictable as the future is the past was even more. I love you today, yesterday and every tomorrow.

Confessions

somebodiessomebody — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 03:01:02 +0000

Confessions, I’ve never been good at these. But for the past 5 months now I have been depressed mostly because of a mistake I made that fucked my life all up. Now after 5 months I would think I would be over it but that’s just not the case. From July 29^th till around the third of the year I handled my depression like any reasonable person would. I turned to drugs, alcohol, and non-stop partying. Not the smartest thing in the world to do and I realize that now. Now for the past 2 weeks I’ve stopped most of that. I just found a job after 3 months of not having one, I’m moving out, and I dropped out of college. I just couldn’t do it anymore the farther I am from my past the better I am and if that means no school then I’m out. You see for the past few weeks I thought I was over everything, but for the past 3 days I’ve realized I’m nowhere near that. See the reason I haven’t moved on is because I’m scared that I’ll do what I did again and that’s something that I can’t afford to do. I need a lot of help and don’t know what I should do because I don’t want to tell the story. If anyone out there has some advice I can use/have please share.

finalle

somebodiessomebody — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:27:50 +0000

i guess its over. you’ll probably never see me again and if you do i won’t see you. i’ve tried to move on. i wished i could for the longest time. don’t worry about me i’ll live i guess. have a great life. and just remember i ment everything i ever did for you and me. and this is one of those.

Beautiful Day

somebodiessomebody — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:22:49 +0000

This was written about a month or so ago.

The laughs of children on a play ground,

So soothing on such a depressing day.

It’s been a month and a half almost two,

I still sit here and thing what can I do?

The rose you gave me still hangs around my neck,

So close to my heart; the heart you had.

I gave it to you long before you left.

Now I have it back, it’s cold and empty.

Where did I go wrong with myself?

You know they say a man has many flowers in his life, but there is only one rose.

somebodiessomebody — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 00:28:21 +0000

SO for the first timei what has felt like ages i’m actually happy. i mean like a kid in a candy store happy.

why didn’t i?

somebodiessomebody — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:21:25 +0000

1) didn’t think it was my time or the gun would have shot without me pulling the trigger.

2) i believe ppl when they say i’ll do great things and i want to see what great things i’ll do.

3) the final. i want to see you in person one more time.

Photographs and Memories

somebodiessomebody — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 04:15:08 +0000

Photographs and memories
Christmas cards you sent to me
All that I have are these
To remember you

Memories that come at night
Take me to another time
Back to a happier day
When I called you mine

But we sure had a good time
When we started way back when
Morning walks and bedroom talks
Oh how I loved you then

Summer skies and lullabies
Nights we couldnt say good-bye
And of all of the things that we knew
Not a dream survived

Photographs and memories
All the love you gave to me
Somehow it just cant be true
Thats all Ive left of you

But we sure had a good time
When we started way back when
Morning walks and bedroom talks
Oh how I loved you then

shot gun blues

somebodiessomebody — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 20:11:48 +0000

you might have thought that that statement was a little dramtic and etc. but was it? you were talking to a guy who had a loaded shot gun(my shot gun) sitting under his chin while he debated on weather it was worth it or not. now tell me how dramtic that was.

somebodiessomebody — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:12:29 +0000

so its been about 4 days since we decided that a friendship wasn’t going to work. i can’t do anything or go anywhere and not think about you. today i was driving through downtown and it just felt like you were there holding my hand, but when i looked over and saw no one there i just felt like shooting myself. i miss you so much and i miss all the good times we had.